The Insidious Self-Saboteur

Who Needs Enemies When You Have Yourself?

There isn’t just one thing that people do in the workforce on a regular basis to self-sabotage.

There are 15 primary deep personal beliefs, which create the behaviors of the “self-saboteur”.

We will address each of these patterns that stem from our beliefs in this, a continuing blog series devoted to the...

“Critical 15”, written to help you recognize these negative patterns in people you are working and dealing with, or maybe even in yourself, and how to navigate through to a successful and happy outcome.

Beliefs are simply ideas we think are true. Somewhere along the way in our life, someone said something or did something that created a perception in our mind. That perception became our belief of what that “thing” they said or did actually says about us as an individual.

This brings us to the “B Word” which stands for Blame. Maybe during childhood or even later, someone you saw as an authority figure said “I knew you’d screw up. You can’t be trusted because you’re too dumb and always will be”.

The result was a pattern of avoidance of the painful emotion brought about by this negative perceived idea, which has now become an internalized belief, creating patterns of blaming others for one’s perceived shortcomings.

It takes less effort for an adult to stay a victim than it takes to fix what is not working in our lives.

Blaming others for our situation is ultimately an avoidance of our own personal power, and the result of a deep fear of embarrassment or criticism, but...

Blame keeps us Stuck.

Blame is self-pity and self-pity is negative programming to our subconscious.

In our childhood years at school or with siblings at home, we all saw the kid who “blamed everyone else for what they did that went wrong”. It was always “she made me do it”, or “Johnny did it, not me”, or “if Susie wasn’t such a little tattle-tale, I wouldn’t have to stay after school and miss out on this week’s game”.

It was always easier to blame, than to own up and see the opportunity to change and do better. One thing “blamers” don’t realize is everyone appreciates someone who owns up to their actions and learns in the process.

When we see someone owning up and taking responsibility for their actions, it sets a high bar, gains respect, and makes us all want to emulate that quality and strength.

None of us entered this life with the idea that we were going to do everything perfectly, make no mistakes, and be better than everyone else. Life is one mistake after another, but owning up to those mistakes, sometimes accompanied with a HUGE apology, can gain more respect instantly from CEO’s, management, and other employees, than the

Blame Game which everyone sees through as weak, low self-esteem, cowardly and downright pitiful.

Yes, it takes more effort to step forward with truth instead of living in fear of criticism, but it’s necessary for a happy life, filled with great relationships and success.

The mind coaches at Silicon Valley Mind Coach use the Alpha Mind State to help employees recognize the futility of blame; accept that each person is far greater than any perceived idea of limitation; move forward in positive action; and release the negative beliefs they have held on to for so long.

Once they see where this belief originated and how it does not serve them, it’s easy to let it become a laughable part of the past, allowing for a positive future.

I’m sure you know someone who always gets in their own way, just before seeing their success come to fruition. We’ve all seen that person, and they leave us shaking our heads.

They were so close! So close to seeing a dream realized, when BOOM, they did something that sabotaged the desired outcome and left everyone reeling, most of all, the person who let their personal negative belief come between their desired goal and a successful completion.

Blame is only one of these beliefs that create self-sabotage. This series will continue with more beliefs that are detrimental to success.